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Took me a full day for the tears to stop.... And it’s not that I’m not emotionally devastated, but simply that I am in so much pain that my heart can’t even gather the strength to produce another drop. My queen, my angel... the very reason from which my name was created. It was always you. The strength, the glue that held the family together for as long as I can remember. From you chasing me around the dining room table with the belt to you coming out on stage for my 1st show in Los Angeles, I’ve always known how much you loved me. I started writing this last night & stopped because every time I got close to this part, I’d burst into tears all over again. This morning I heard your voice telling me to be STRONG but I can’t. I’m weakened by the simple fact that I will never see you again in the physical form & that hurts me to the depths of my soul Grandma. I miss you so much & if I had just one wish it would be to see you smile at me the way you do one more time. That 1/2 grin, with those beautiful green eyes you passed on to me & Cali... I miss it !!! I’m hurt, I’m suffering, I’m wounded, in traumatic discomfort with what I now have to accept.... You not being here is probably the worst pain I’ve experienced to date. Going back in my mind & replaying all of the memories we created throughout my childhood has been all I can get myself to do today. After I got shot, you nursed me back to health. 2 months in the house everyday feeding me soup & helping me walk til I was whole again. A piece of me is forever gone & I can really feel that emptiness. Why does God allow you to love a person so passionately & then remove them from your life in a manor it seems like you’ll never recover from ? I love you Grandma.. & the entire family is in mourning. I miss you beautiful.. you will always be my heart. Descansa en paz abuela 🖤